You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm passing your future prison.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
