walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
