That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
