He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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