Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Drunk is not a location!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
