dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
