Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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