Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize