I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
