Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
