sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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