I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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