There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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