Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
