The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize