I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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