So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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