she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
