a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
