OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
