What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
