butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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