go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
