bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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