The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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