Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
