From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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