Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
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