the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
