My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
