We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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