Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
