weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
