Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
time to smoke my breakfast
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
