hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
