Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
