worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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