I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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