hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
