plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i think im in europe. pls send help
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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