Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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