Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
