i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
