he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
