My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
