She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize