I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I made him laugh his dick is mine
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
