Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
