my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Randomize