wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
