I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
