I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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