help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
