butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize