I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
