Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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