your room smells of hookers.
And success
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
