Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
