I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
